minor notes

" I had a dream and you were in it
the blue of your eyes was infinite..."
the magnetic fields - i don't believe you

i exercised for the first time in a public gym, although i took karate classes at a grade school cafeteria...and it was distinctly weird (the gym part)
not just because it was a workout thinger, with weird ass weights, slidey things, etc, basically aerobics in disguise...but also because the woman running it came to me afterwards and assumed that my friend j, with whom i'd come, had made me come, and, even though i told her no, i had come for exercise plain and simple, she pursued said same presumption
thus permanently alienating me, although i'll probably go back next week just cuz it's quality time with j and i know she's ALWAYS busy

i'm obsessed with the magnetic fields, nina nastasia, and the shins right now
it's very interesting
by the by, the new lee hazelwood sucks, but then you probly already know that...his old stuff is good i swear

i'm missing marie right now, and know that i should email her, but i'm severly behind in emails in general, so i should email others before i email a once-close friend who now lives far away
but i miss her, the nights we'd spend baking, the movies, the un-asked-for advice that made me feel far from her and yet closer still---it's strange how you miss people
it's like a scent you accidentally smell from a store you know you shouldn't enter, that memory, because it will consume youa nd you'll forget all the errands and other stores you need to attend to, it'll take away your breath because it's so wonderful
but the store closed so long ago and the hours aren't posted and it's always full of coolerthanyou people who you can't quite read
but the person is worth it, and you know it, and you know you'd drop everything if they asked you to come inside, close the door, just please come and visit

which is partly why i need to call h, why i need to visit h, because she pulled me out of a huge rut and showed me how incredibly possible things are, even when you think you've seen it all
or perhaps i should replace you's with I's
who knows?

today in class i vented, and it felt good, and the prof loved my question
it was lovely

("...and when you come down, I will be at the door, the light will be on, and we will open the door, open the windows, let the wind blow through while we cover truth with blankets, television with fires")