"don't forget i let you in, and now i'll let you out again...

...you have yet to win my heart" - holly golightly

i moved into a new house, with bugs, and wood floors, and a busy street outside, and more space, and a much closer walk to campus/downtown/coffee
i'm not sure how i feel about it, but i'm just about moved in, and my roommate moves in on saturday, then i leave for about 2 weeks to confront the last chapter of my thesis in ann arbor, as well as to plan my syllabus, supposedly, though i suspect i'll wait until the last minute to do that
i have learned and relearned and realized a lot this summer, although i think most of all i'm plagued by dreams of what's happened, what hasn't happened, and what might be happening---the future isn't quite as frightening as the present right now, mostly because i feel the pull of so many things on me right now, pulling me in so many directions, just when i'd finally decided on some sense of direction
yet i remind myself that amazing people think i'm cool or amazing or whatever, so i have to remember that i'm feeling the pull, that i can choose what to acknowledge, what to do
and the path is never so defined as we make it out to be
so i can let a certain future in, and i can let it out again
....
MOSTLY, i'm looking forward to going back to michigan, chilling with brooke, and maybe eating too much at seva with my parents on a saturday