Fetch

When I was in high school, I used to call my sister; this was after she'd gone to college. I would go to the payphone at the end of the hall, next to the boys' locker room so not actually safe, and call her up. She never actually answered. I do not think she was in her room all that often.

So I would sing songs to her answering machine.

It was probably the weirdest thing I've ever done to my one sister (the other I have obviously done much weirder things--i mean, come on, mL?). Maybe not; I did used to throw dirt at her hair because she'd get so fussy about it. Anyway, point is I would sing this song to her.

"Come
Come away
Come away from
That height..."

Or something like that (it's an Ani Di song). And it was less for her benefit than my own, yet I think we both needed it back then. So anyway, I would sing it and then apologize or something and hang up and go to class and pretend to like my friends because I just didn't know anyone all that awesome. Or more likely, I just have much higher standards now.

But lately, I keep hearing that song in my head. I think that maybe I need it now. Like a story my parents might have told me once, or ml retelling Narnia as feminist critique (really, she did, but without as much kung fu as one would expect). Or the sound of birds in the summertime mating in the lowland by my parents' house. An overwhelming ringing in my ears that somehow feels like looking at rain falling into puddles on a gray, singsong day.

Or looking into my dog's eyes and not feeling anything but that there is a stick outside and I need to throw it so he can fetch it.