parental advice

my mother and i were talking on the phoen the other day
boy that sounds lame but she called me to see if i was well after having a terrible virus, and i told her i'd just gotten back from a hike and was feeling short of breath
anyway, i told her about my problem with friends lately
that being that the people i interact with don't seem to be living their lives, they seem to be surviving them.... rather than taking actions as they feel are the right ones or doing what they know they need or want to do, people just do what's necessary to get by
they don't care about breathing anymore, they just let the system do its job and they become computer-beings or somesuch...people just doing what is the least necessary or defining themselves by one label and living their lives without reaching for dreams, or ethics, or morals, or love, or adventure, or risk, or challenges, or anything
and then i tell her i skipped out on two potlocks in favor of being on my own, and i had a BLAST ( i went to the local activist bookstore, bought two scifi/fantasy books, one by gaiman, and then went and read the gaiman one at the local coffee shop with a cup of wonderful tea and some strawberry cake...wonderful night, rather warm, and everyone was SO NICE) and how the people i don't even know are nicer and more considerate than a lot of my supposed 'friends' here (r excluded)...plus, they were more informed about events, and there were discussions i overheard about the environment and social acton and justice and whatnot
and she just says, well good, i'm glad you got to be around people who are 'actually alive!"
an she laughed, and i laughed
and i smiled so big
just cuz i realized i'm not insane
and there are worlds of worlds outside my own world, and things that academe just doesn't cover, and that i really do just need to find people with their feet on their gournd and their mind connected to their heart and lungs and feet

so tuesday, i'm skipping out on my coursework, much like i am right now, nothing terribly or decidedly shirky, but enough so that i can go to a board game night at the activist book store and hopefully make friends with some nice, cool people
so i guess i'm hopeful again
but watch out, i'm sure i'll brood at some point before the end of the week, if nothing else, then over the fact that i have to apply for ai-ships by the 1st, and the fact that i have to find a place to live for next year
why is house-searching so depressing?

anyway, to quote a friend, "the world could end tomorrow, so don't worry,
just go to sleep"